Thank you all so much for your support. I really need all the positvity I can get and I know I can get it here. I really really thrive on that you know.Â
I know I don't deserve this...no one does.Â
I have some money saved up. I just always think of the conscequences. If I leave he'll stop making the mortgage payment and I'll be in foreclosure too. What happens to Lady. What if he finds me. What if what if what if.Â
I am making plans though. It's always been in the back of my mind. I just never expected to go into this relationship thinking it would be temporary.Â
My family is 600 miles away. So that's not an option. not really.
And don't worry. non sugar coated is good...and I can take it.
I'm like that too...nothing ever comes out sweet and nice.
I'm ready for anything but this. I keep hearing myself say "welcome to the beginning of the end". When he says he's spitting up blood I think maybe he has cirosis and it's almost over. or when he gets really trashed he'll accidentally go off the side of the road and that would be a great quick fix. I know the clock is ticking one way or the other. I just gotta decide if I can wait out his. I hate to even think it...but I know his days are numbered. I would hate to see anything bad happen to him...but I know that's what he wants.Â
You guys are the best! You really really are.