Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - fings

Pages: [1]
Blog Feedback & Discussion Board / Are You A Good Boy, Or A Bad Boy?
« on: October 01, 2009, 08:14:08 pm »
Are you good, or bad to the bone bad?

Hi Everyone,

It's been a while since I've been around but with good reason. I used to hang out a lot more and a while back I posted about Bo's rescue story....Mom Gets Mad At Dad and Rescue Dog Goes Home. At the time we were working on getting Bo's (woof!)memoir finally happened!

I used to get lots of nice comments from you guys so I wanted to fill you in, let you know what's kept me away. In July 2008 Bo put paw to paper with Kensington Books and TODAY Bo's book BAD TO THE BONE: Memoir Of A Rebel Doggie Blogger is out. It's the 1st memoir written by a dog to ever be published in non-fiction. You can buy online in your local bookstore.

Let's get this clear right away: I'm a dog.

I'm 1'10" and weigh 63 lbs, and although I'm a mutt on the outside, I'm a purebred on the inside. My good nature comes from the Golden Retriever side of the family, while my stubbornness is clearly from my Chowchow bloodlines. I've got Rastafarian ears, a black tongue for licking, and paws that should be on a dog twice my size.

I type 60 words a minute.

Join Bo, an incorrigible canine as he welcomes us into his life, complete with wacky 'parents', a constipated feline housemate, and chipmunk warfare.

Are you dog enough to watch....

Just to set the record straight, I think it’s actually a cat not a dog in this video. If it truly is a dog, then it was just messin’ around. Either that or it takes the short bus to doggie daycare. A big dog would never be caught doing this.....

Bo (woof) In Commentary:
Why are our owners so obsessed with finding out how intelligent we are? All they need to know is that we got it going on upstairs. How else to explain us living in their homes, eating their food and having them pick up our feces? And all of that without us paying them a dime.

In the interest of giving my parents some bragging rights, I decided to take this Canine IQ test from an article on NBC26 news, by Mike Conroy. Let’s go question by question and see how I fared.

Test 1: Food under can

This is a test of your dog’s problem solving ability.
How to do the test

1. First sit the dog, if it won’t stay you’ll need someone to hold the dog by the collar.
2. Show the dog the tidbit of food and let it sniff it.
3. With the dog’s full attention, slowly place the tidbit on the ground about two meters away and place the can over the tidbit.
4. Start timing and encourage the dog to get the food.

Scoring: If the dog knocks the can over and gets the tidbit in 5 seconds or less 5 points; 5 to 15 seconds 4 points;15 to 30 seconds 3 points; 30 to 60 seconds 2 points; [over 60 seconds and it’s still looking for the treat? Then we’ll give the dog a point for being able to breath on its own]

No need for a stop watch on this one. I’ll sit and wait until my owner picks up the can and gives me the treat underneath it. No energy exerted, maximum treat scored = genius but the scoring on this test will give me:

+0 points for being lazy

Test 2: Dog under towel

This is another measure of your dog’s problem solving ability.
How to do the test

1. Your dog should be awake and reasonably active
2. Let the dog sniff the towel
3. With a quick smooth motion throw the towel over the dogs head so its head and shoulders are completely covered (you may want to practice this without the dog first). Start timing and watch silently.

Scoring: If the dog frees itself in 5 seconds or less 5 points; 5 to 15 seconds 4 points;15 to 30 seconds 3 points; 30 to 60 seconds 2 points

I think the test results on this one are hinged on ‘your dog should be…reasonably active’. At my age, if someone throws a towel on me it’s because I’ve wet myself not because my teacher sprung a surprise quiz on me. I’ll gracefully bow out of this question. That way I don’t have to worry about someone throwing a towel at me and ‘turning out the lights’ as I’m walking toward a stairwell. Canine IQ score for this question:

+0 points for being safety conscious

Test 3: Can your dog recognize a smile?

This is a test of social learning.

How to do the test

1. Pick a time your dog is sitting about 2 meters away from you
2. The dog must not have been told to stay or sit
3. Stare intently into your dogs face, when your dog looks at you, count silently to 3 and then smile broadly

Scoring: If your dog comes with tail waging 5 points; If your dog comes slowly or only part of the way with no tail waging 4 points; If your dog stands or rises to a sitting position but does not move toward you 3 points; If your dog moves away from you 2 points; If your dog pays no attention 1 point

Why should I start wagging my tail if I see my owner smile? The only reason I can think of is if he’s got spinach or pesto between his teeth that he’s going to let me pick clean.

A more appropriate test would be to see if, after a dog farts, his owner’s facial expression changes. If Rover wags his tail in less than 10 seconds, not only is he capable of social learning but he’s also the proud owner/operator of a highly efficient fart power plant. Resulting Canine IQ score:

+0 points for being emotionless

Test 4: Retrieving from under a barrier

This is a test of your dog’s problem solving and manipulation ability.
How to do the test

1. Make sure your dog is watching you from nearby
2. Show your dog the tidbit of food and let it sniff it
3. With the dogs full attention, slowly place the tidbit just far enough under the table that the dog can use its paws to retrieve it
4. Start timing and encourage your dog to get the food

Scoring: If your dog uses its paws to retrieve the food in 60 seconds or less 5 points; If your dog uses its paws to retrieve the food in 1 to 3 minutes 4 points; If your dog uses its muzzle only and fails to get the food or if it uses its paws and hasn’t retrieved the food after 3 minutes 3 points; If your dog doesn’t use its paws, simply sniffs and gives one or 2 points wo tries with its muzzle; If your dog has made no attempt to retrieve the bait after 3 minutes 1 point

Why would I want to lift a couch, table or any other object to get a treat when I can just stare my mother in the eyes and will her to give me bologna? Manipulation, yes, but not how this test wants to see it. Regardless, I’m on the scoreboard:

+1 point for being spoiled rotten

Test 5:This is a test of language comprehension

How to do the test1. Your dog should be settled comfortably around two meters in front of you
2. In the voice tone you use to call your dog call “refrigerator”

Scoring: If the dog shows response to come 3 points; If the dog does not come, call “movies” in the same tone. If the dog comes 2 points; If the dog still has not responded call its name. If the dog comes or shows any tendency to move to you 5 points; If the dog has not moved, call its name a second time. If the dog comes 4 points;If the dog still doesn’t come 1 point

When I hear the word ‘refrigerator’ I always respond with, “Could you bring me the tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream?” If the answer is yes, I’ll move to an upright sitting position. If the answer is no, I’ll continue to lay flat like a bear rug. Canine IQ points scored:

+1 point for waiting to be served

So let’s tally that up…nuthin, nuthin, nuthin, woof, woof = 2 woofs. Impressive. Most impressive.

Let me look at the scoring chart to see where that places me…Oops, it appears our reporter forgot to include it. Nice move genius!

How'd you score?

My adoption story (I'm a chow/retriever) and a book my dad and I wrote for mom for x-mas 2006:

We met back in the early 90’s, December of ‘92 to be exact. I just had a major blowout with my first, somewhat dysfunctional family and decided that it was best for all if I just left. My foster dad gave me a ride to nowhere that ended up at a boarding house in Albany, NY. The place was great, warm with plenty of company, and their cheesy poof biscuits were to die for. On the downside, it was loud and smelly, not unlike me.

Even a lowly pug could smell her coming from miles away. It was Monday, as I recall, and the bells on the door jingled to announce her arrival. She was a beautiful blonde with a quick smile and a big heart. We’d seen this type before; they usually left with one of the pure bred puppies, but something was different about this one. My instincts told me that any canine would be darn lucky to go home with a dame like her, so I made it my top priority to be that hound.

She wandered back to where we lived. Frankly, I was a bit embarrassed about the condition of the place. Some of my cage mates were not very clean and some even took to pooping where they ate. My next cage neighbor’s lack of etiquette was particularly noteworthy as he took to eating kitty snickers (that’s slang for cat poo in the big house) openly. Sure they taste good, but you’re not getting adopted if you’re seen eating one.

As she came closer to my humble accommodations, I tried everything I could to grab her attention. When she finally got to me I made direct eye contact with her, angled my head at a 45 degree tilt and gave her my trademark BoPaw’ reach. As a bonus, my head as a pup was fully-grown, although my body wasn’t. While it would have been abnormal on any other dog, my oversized cranium actually made me cuter.

With the paw in the air and the bobble head turned just so, I stared into her eyes. I could see instantly she wanted me. Needed me. Had to have me. Hey who wouldn’t?

With her finely manicured nails, she reached out and petted me. She was clearly enjoying our encounter. How easy these humans are to manipulate, I thought. Her hands were refreshingly cool and her smell put me in a state of delight. I was in love. I could tell she loved me too.

After a few gushing, “He’s so cute!” comments, she took her hand out of my cage, gave me one last look and proceeded to move on to Pumpkin’s cage.

What?? Move on?! Hey, we just made a connection. You can’t move on. But that’s exactly what she did.

Realizing I was still sitting there with a half-cocked head and a paw in the air, I felt my muzzle glow red hot under my furry face as the other dogs chuckled with delight. After a few minutes I got my bearings back, but by then she had moved through the room, out the door and out of my life.

My hope for a better life was gone as ...

(it's kind of long so the rest, if interested, can be read at ,nothing for sale just some doggie news so hope it's okay)

Pages: [1]