Here is the surprising, though slightly anti-climactic, conclusion:
My roommate who studied ecology in school went out to a west Texas preservation this weekend to help contain the deer population.
It's a marsh in the desert or something similar, so it's a very unique ecosystem, but it's been overrun by deer. So I suppose I can knock on wood that I didn't find a deer head in my freezer. I think I would have cried.
Well, it turns out, it is not a whole bird (but thank goodness I didn't completely investigate that part). It is the tail end of a turkey. Yes, a turkey. And by tail end, I don't just mean the tail feathers. According to my roommate, there is still "some meat attached". He said he needs to find some borax so he can coat the meaty part and preserve this thing. Then he wants to spread the tail out, so he'll have a turkey feather fan. You can't make this stuff up.
I wonder if he plans on hanging this thing in my house... Now I am happy that he keeps the door to his room closed.
I am happy to have entertained you folks today, but if anyone wants to adopt a 22-year-old, smart, handsome, red-headed roommate (no help needed with transport-he has his own vehicle), let me know.