because we are military, we do have to have a referral, because we see military doctors. we can request a new doctor, which i am in the process of doing now, but we cannot just skip him, we have to do it in steps. it's not saving us anything, because we don't pay for our visits, etc, it's just waiting on everything to fall into place, getting a dr who supports us, etc. aiden loves showers, which is why we have started using wipes for a majority of stuff, because for a while he did it JUST to get another shower (we were up to 4 a day for a while) we never go anywhere, typically, so staying home to do it is nothing hard. we use the big boy potty, because he will not even pee in the little ones. he likes the flush. when aiden "acts" with peeing, i pop his butt, tell him "NO" and keep doing what needs to be done. afterwards, he goes to his room for time out, or has to go to the corner. hubby on the other hand, gags just from the thought of cleaning poop and pee. i don't even think it's the smell that gets him, just the thought. taking toys away doesn't phase him, after five minutes he completely forgets, and doesn't think of it again, unless i put it in plain sight where he can't reach it and then he just sits there and screams. literally, until it's out of sight. after that, out of sight out of mind, he completely forgets after 5 minutes.