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I came home from work today to find an airmail envelope and when I opened it, out poured all this BPO sunshine!

This site, and the people behind it, are just beyond description.  If you ever doubt that you're not lead exactly to the place you're supposed to be, let me tell you about my finding of BPO just exactly when I needed it.  The support so freely given here during Barkley's illness and passing truly fed and sustained me.  So to have that followed up with a beautiful written note in the mail just blew me away.

Thank you for the site, the support, the note, and mostly, for allowing me to celebrate Barkley's life and memory here with you all.  Thank you thank you thank you!

we put ourselves on the waiting list with a breeder in Newfoundland for another Landseer pup.  She is planning two litters this year - one to be bred in June 2006 and a Landseer litter to be bred in October 2006.  This means we could be welcoming a new babe into our home in February 2007! 

Now I just have to talk my husband out of insisting on naming him BJ.   

I thought the best way to pay tribute to my Bark-a-lark was to share some of the pictures that were on the films we had developed today. 

Look....do I spot a treat?



Forget the treat ... did Mom just say "walk"?



It's hard work guarding this treat cupboard!



My favourite place ... the boardwalk.



You'd think Mom would move the scoopy bag before clicking...rea lly...the indignity of it all!


Despite my demon eyes here ... she really was my best friend.

Godspeed big man ... see you at Rainbow Bridge!

When we got home from work tonight, Barkley couldn't/wouldn't come up the stairs outside.  We tried bribing him, coaxing with food ... no go.  I opened the gate to take him around to the front of the house when we saw that his right rear leg was dragging ... actually he was walking on the knuckles.

Whipped him right down to our amazing vet (I love those women...seriou sly) where they saw us without an appointment.

It's one of two things.

Either he's injured himself today while we were at work, in which case keeping him quiet and comfortable tonight and allowing the steriods to work on the swelling.

However, she is also concerned that it could neurological in that a tumor or gland could be swollen to the point that it's now pressing against nerves causing him to lose control of his hind quarters.  If that's the case, then he will still be in the same (or worse) shape in the morning.

She said if that was the case, we would probably need to talk about euthenasia tomorrow.

We both have to work tomorrow - totally unable to take the day off.  I have a meeting that I'm chairing and presenting at, and people are coming from all over the province to attend.  My husband is an elementary school music teacher and one of his schools has its spring play tomorrow.  I have been able to take as much time working at home during this whole ordeal, and now this.  My mother in law will be here all day tomorrow, and the vet has also offered for us to drop him off to her tomorrow if we need or want to.

I'm just really hoping that he will prove us wrong once again this week.  I'll update tomorrow.

Had our usual vet visit on Friday evening.  The increased prednozone is helping the glands to maintain their size now but didn't shrink them this week. 

His appetite is still very large, but his muscle mass is really going.  The prednozone has that effect on the muscles.  We have to help him to get his hind quarters up off the floor now ... we've always had rubber runners and rubber backed mats for him, but now even those don't help.  Once he's up, he's fine ... it's just the getting up.

And last night he had an bowel accident in the basement overnight.  God bless him ... he's so considerate.  He goes to the blanket and does it there so it's not hard to scoop out of the house.

This might sound crazy but I had said to him in the very early days of this diagnosis to give me kisses on the face when he felt it was time.  Barkley has never been a kisser.  Last night he gave me a little lick on the face when we were laying on the rug.

Please tell me this is just a bad day.  My heart is heavy today looking at him.   

Not very good video ... I have a lousy little webcam and am new to this youtube thingy ... but it's enough to get an idea of how sweet my Barkley Bear is.  And contrary to what you see (and hear) in this video...he really is obedient.  It's just starting to slip a ummmm bit lately.  Hmmm...wonder why that is? hehehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhQAbf5Wma8

This dog is amazing me!  Another check up at the vet's tonight and he's doing great.  The glands are still not swelling any more than in a healthy dog.  His stool is still not solid, and I don't expect it will ever return to that state, even with the meds he's on to help with that.  And tonight he did vomit, which we're going to keep an eye on as well.  It could have been that my husband fed him, and put the bowl on the ground (what's with THAT???) whereas when I feed him, I hold it in my lap for him.  Because he has such a ferocious appetite these days, he's hoovering his food down - so head down would not be a good way to eat!

I do struggle these days when I take him into the vet's office.  Everyone loves him so much and he's such a celebrity because of his size and pleasant demeanor.  He loves it ... gets all his loving and tries to look cool at the same time ... the big goof.

While we were waiting tonight, there was a couple there who had obviously just had to make the decision to put their pet down.  My heart broke for them ..... there I was sitting in the waiting room in tears right along with them.  So hard.

In the meantime, another good check up and no changes in the routine.  Yay Barkley Bear!!!

I checked and didn't see that you had been in the hot seat yet (that I could find anyhow) so let's go!!!

What was the first dog that was part of your life?

What is your favourite song and why?

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?

What is your favourite thing about the city/town in which you live?